Who Knew Tasmanian Tigers Eat Apples! by John Martin
Author:John Martin
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: John Martin
MOOSE had barely come through the door when Lozza thrust a copy of The Pick Of The Crop at him.
He tried waving it away. âWeâve got work to do. I havenât got time to read this.â
âBut you have to look. Theyâve run our photos.â
Mooseâs eyes widened as he sat down and examined the paper. Soon he began to laugh. He held up the page that had the identikit photos. âThese could be anyone! Have you ever seen the Bonnie and Clyde movie?â
Mooseâs hair was still slicked back from his shower after training, so he guessed he did look like a gangster.
Mooseâs guess was some of the patients who had given the police artist their bogus recollections would have known fine well who he was. As for Lozza, he guessed none of them were about to confess to their wives they had succumbed to the soothing left hand of a hostess at the Dancing School, who was off on sick leave.
Moose put the paper down. âRelax, no one is going to blab. You'll get some money out of this.â
He rolled up his sleeves as he got up and walked to the other end of the kitchen table, which he had set up earlier. The beaker of stolen goods was surrounded by dozens of little test tubes and a bunch of tags, some of them with names written on in blue ink.
Lozza watched as he started funnelling the stolen semen into the test tubes, which he then corked and attached a tag to.
âGive me some more bushrangersâ names.â
Lozza smiled thinly. âNed Kelly?â
âIâve already flooded the market with Nedâs whiskers.â
âOK then. What about Mad Dog Morgan?â
Moose stopped his funnelling and stared at the wall. âWhy didnât I think of Mad Dog? The Americans would love a name like that.â
Lozza spotted one tag she wasnât comfortable with. âErrol Flynn wasnât a bushranger.â
âHe was a Tasmanian.â
âBut he definitely wasnât a bushranger.â
Moose laughed. âIf anyone asks, Iâll tell them Errol Flynn was a bushranger in Tasmania before he went to Hollywood to become a pirate and Robin Hood.â
Lozza continued to watch Moose work. âDo you think that billionaire friend of yours will really be able to market this stuff?â
âAre you kidding? Theyâll probably cut it with something to make it go further, but I expect every drop will be packaged in little capsules as part of jewellery and good luck charms, and billed as genuine Australian bushrangersâ by-products.â
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Dark Humor | Humorous |
Satire |
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